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Ask Goose
Every now and again, our own resident philosopher will answer another of life's difficult questions submitted by YOU, the Zero Pit public. Just click on the link below and ask away!
Directions to our next show are available at the bottom of the page...
Latest Submissions:
q: Why the Hell are there so many friggin' deer on the Taconic State Parkway?
First of all, I've never seen any deer do any "friggin" before myself. I know they must because there's like 900 million of 'em around here. You must be like Marlon Perkins or some shit, standing around watching animals in their most intimate of moments. Hey to each his own, but how would you like it if a bunch of deer watched you and your "strapping young buck", (pardon the pun!), going at it in your natural habitat??? You just might find that a little uncomfortable.
As far as to why the Taconic Parkway, (here in upstate New York), I know the grass along the
road contains natural viagra-like nutrients, thus enabling our suburban rat friends to last for days on end. Plus, the parkway is very scenic and is the deer equivalent of a "love crib", so let them get their somethin'-somethin' in peace for God's sake!!!
q: Why do people park in driveways and drive on parkways?
a: While most people do what you say in your question, I don't! One of my all-time favorite things to do is to drive down the Deegan Expressway here in New York and park in the center lane, right outside Yankee Stadium. I sit there and wait to see if any fly balls come my way. If I'm feeling really adventurous, I'll park sideways and take up all three lanes of traffic. I usually get rousing greetings from fellow motorists when I do that. Boy that sure is fun! To answer your question though, who the hell knows???
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